It's not about the humour.....

Having just retreated from a social media debate about the above video Bev and I sat and licked our wounds as we talked about the difference in the way it seemed that most people has reacted.

The clip is called 'It's not about the nail' and can be found here:

The discussions go something like this:

Person A on Facebook 'This clip is soooo funny'

Various friends of person A 'Lol' or other approving comments.

Bev or I 'this undermines women'

Everyone else 'you need to get a sense of humour'

Bev and I 'ouch'

So what is going on here. Are we right in wanting to point out what seems blatantly obvious. Are 'they' right suggesting that it a just a bit of fun and that our sense of humour is deficient.

Firstly, the video is written and filmed in a humorous way and it does reflect the type of conversations men and women might find themselves in:

Woman: there is a problem

Man: let me fix it

Woman: you never listen

Man: I know but I can see what needs fixing

Woman: it's not about the nail

Audience: LOL

Now let me explain what Bev and I saw immediately as we watched the video clip (we watched it independently)

Firstly, the 'nail' or woman's problem is so blindingly obvious that anyone, including other women, could see it. What the woman needs to do is stop talking and let the man take the nail out.

Secondly, if the piece was merely about the different ways that women and men view things then it would not have been just a nail. A nail is not an issue of perspective. In this video the man is seeing the obvious, and true issue, the woman is ignoring this and blaming the man's need to fix things.

Granted, my two observations are not as funny as the video so in one sense I can see how our interlocutors would view us as having no sense of humour.

The problem for Bev and I is that the video IS about the 'nail' but the problem that it highlights is NOT about the humour.

I would simply leave you with these two thoughts.

Men: if this video massaged your feelings of being hard done to when in conversations with your partner then pause for a minute. Did you want to turn to her and say 'see! This is what I have been saying. Pause and reflect. Is the problem she speaks about as obvious as a nail in the head?

Women: if the video made you laugh because it reflected the kind of arguments you have with your partner then pause for a minute. Consider the next time you argue that your husband might simply say 'let me take out the nail'. Will it feel funny then?

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